Friday, August 26, 2011

June Weddings

June Weddings

 

Most people in the 1500s got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Where did "Piss Poor" come from?

Where did "Piss Poor" come from?

 

Interesting History. They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".

 

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot. They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Down in the West Texas town of El Paso

Down in the West Texas town of El Paso

 

Three armed felons crossed the U. S . Border and attempted to rob an off duty El Paso police officer dressed in civilian clothes while he stood in front of a bank.

 

The plan was for two of them to grab his backpack and toss it to an accomplice on a stolen motorcycle.

 

However, the well prepared police officer shot all of them, killing two immediately. The third was shot in both arms and bled to death before the ambulance arrived.

 

This is how much the US Taxpayer would have had to pay to prosecute these thugs:

 

Arrest and detention for 1 night = -$6,000

Transportation for deportation back to Mexico the next day = -$1000

Air time for Obama to apologize in 30 min speech $25,007,000

 

What it actually cost:

Four .40 rounds = $1.00

Taxpayer savings = $25,006,999.00

 

They Picked the Wrong Man to rob - Only in TEXAS!

 

THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A 911 CALL IS 4 MINUTES THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A .40 S&W ROUND IS ABOUT 1225 FEET PER SECOND.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide.

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide! You should get a Divorce."

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM