DO NOT STOP

DO NOT STOP

 

A MESSAGE FROM THE OFFICE OF ATTORNEY GENERAL STATE OF   MISSISSIPPI , JACKSON , MS 

 

SITUATION...

While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on  the side of the road with a blanket draped over  it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Canton PD and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check.

 

"There are several things to be aware of ... gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person  (mostly women) to stop their vehicle and get  out of the car.

 

"There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police Department where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the  abandoned baby.

 

"Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too.

 

DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-1-1 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON 'T EVEN SLOW DOWN.

 

"IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR  WINDSHIELD, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY  ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER  BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%,  AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD  AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE  CRIMINALS.

 

THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND  RELATIVES.

 

THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVORY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT."

 

Please be  safe.

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Pork Parfait? Are you kidding me?

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Michigan Yoopers Declare War on Obama

Michigan Yoopers Declare War on Obama

Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama?" a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up here at Olies Bar and Steak House in Bruce Crossing, Michigan. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, my cousin Olie, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine's Bar. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Sven. "I'll have to call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Sven?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two 4-wheelers, a snowmobile, and Harry's trail grooming machine."

President Obama sighed. "I have tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke"

"Lord above", said Sven, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day, "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Olies ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Sven that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Sven, "l'll have to call you back."

Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. ""President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

5 Year Old's First Job

5 Year Old's First Job

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the damn sheet rock."

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Meet the Millers enjoy these cars

Meet the Millers AK Miller's Front Yard Consider the strange story of Alex and Imogene Miller of East Orange, VT.  They eked out an existence on a small farm.  Alex would scrounge rusty nails from burnt buildings to repair his roof.  He drove a ratty VW Beetle, and when it died, he found another even more ratty, and another...the rusting carcasses littered his yard.  Alex died in 1993, and Imogene died in 1996.  The local church took up a collection so they could be buried in the churchyard, and the state began the process of taking the farm for taxes.  That would have been the end of a sad story, except.............. Forget the VW: a '28 Franklin ($4500US) and a '23 HCS($14,500 US) lurk inside.  While preparing the estate for auction, the sheriff discovered a cache of bearer bonds taped to the back of a mirror.  That triggered a comprehensive search of the house and outbuildings.  The estate auction would eventually be handled by Christies, and it would bring out collectors from all over the world.. 1913 Stutz Bearcat went for just $105,000US.  Must have been the bad tire.  It seems that Alex Miller was a Rutgers grad, son of a wealthy financier.  He lived in Montclair, NJ, where he founded Miller's Flying Service in 1930.  He operated a gyrocopter (look it up, it's too much of a digression) for mail and delivery service through the 30's.  But the Millers had a secret, and they moved from Montclair when they needed room for it. Step behind the wheel of a 1916 Stutz Bearcat ($155,000 US).  Choosing to live low profile, and paranoid about tax collectors, Miller moved to the farm in VT, and took his collections with him.  Most of his cash had been exchanged for gold and silver bars and coins, which he buried in various locations around the farm.  He carefully disassembled his gyrocopter, and stored it in an old one-room schoolhouse on his property.  He then built a couple of dozen sheds and barns out of scrap lumber and recycled nails.  In the sheds he put his collection. Have to remember to clean that '20 Bearcat out of the shed ($50,000 US).  Alex Miller had an obsession with cars.  Not just any cars, but Stutz cars.  Blackhawks, Bearcats, Super bearcats, DV16's and 32's.  He had been buying them since the 1920's.  When Stutz went out of business, he bought a huge pile of spare parts, which was also carefully stored away in his sheds. A Springfield Rolls Picadilly Roadster ($115,000 US), made inIllinois.  Sometimes, he would stray, and buy other "special cars", including Locomobiles, a Stanley, and a Springfield Rolls Royce.  He never drove them.  He'd simply move them into his storage sheds in the middle of the night, each car wrapped in burlap to protect it from any prying eyes.  Over the years, the farm appeared to grow more and more forlorn, even as the collection was growing. A snappy car: 1921 Stutz Bearcat ($58,000 US).  Occasionally he would sell some parts to raise cash. Rather than dipping into his cache, he would labor for hours making copies of the original parts by hand. Stutz factory spares. Cylinders and pistons from a brass era Stutz in foreground. Collectors knew him as a sharp trader, who had good merchandise but was prone to cheating.  His neighbors had no clue at all, they thought Alex and Imogene were paupers, and often helped out with charity. Wheelbarrow blocks a '28 Stutz Blackhawk Boattail Speedster ($78,000 US). The auction was a three day circus, billed as the "Opening of King Stutz Tomb".  It attracted celebrity collectors, as well as thousands of curiosity seekers.  The proceeds were in the millions, some items went for far more than their value in the frenzy.  In the end, the IRS took a hefty chunk of the cash for back taxes, which proves the old adage about the only two sure things in life... A vanilla '31 SV16 Stutz Sedan ($10,000) Bargain of the show: a '29  Stutz Blackhawk sedan for $7000 US A beautiful Stutz DV32 Sedan ($27,500) Anyone need a new Stutz engine? Still factory fresh. A'23 HCS ($12,000 US) lurks in the darkness of the barn A Lebaron dual-cowl Stutz from 1929 ($68,000US) A '27 Stutz AA Sedan for $6500US 1925 Stutz Speedway Six ($9000 US) T-Head engine in a 21 Bearcat Build a '22 Stutz touring car from this pile of parts for just $10,000 US   Final talley: $2.18 million at auction $1 million in gold $75,000 in silver $400,000 in stock                     God Bless the Crazies.

 

Gas Coupon

I didn't realize it, but these coupons are good for one gallon of gas at most retailers.  I have seen them around, but until recently never took advantage of them, I never realized their actual worth.

You probably have one or two just lying around somewhere, now is the time to use them before they lose their value, and it's too late!!

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Barack's BS Bingo

Try it the next time you hear the President speak. It will keep you awake while he’s reading his prompter!

 

Please follow the rules before watching. I used to avoid listening to his speeches. Now, I look forward to the next one. Here is something to help make Obama's speeches almost tolerable. Just print out this page, distribute it to friends, and listen.

 

Rules for Bullshit Bingo:

1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bullshit Bingo"

2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those Words/phrases.

3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or Diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Just Fred

Just Fred

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears laughing.

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Love Really IS Blind

Love Really IS Blind

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage.

So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf; I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

"Oh wow! I see," Ed replied. He looked down at the table, was quiet for a moment. Deep in serious thought then he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Supplies for a night in, alone.

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

The Robot Bartender

The Robot Bartender

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says," 168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time..

He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Want to know why gas is $4 a gallon?

Want to know why gas is $4 a gallon?

 

Look no further than your friendly environmentalist who won't allow more refineries to be built, requires oil companies to produce 55 different gasoline blends in the summer and won't allow oil exploration in the United States, which would reduce our dependence on foreign oil. Happy Earth Day!

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Earth Day Predictions, 1970 Hysteria

Earth Day Predictions, 1970 Hysteria

 

"We have about five more years at the outside to do something." - Kenneth Watt, ecologist

 

"Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind." - George Wald, Harvard Biologist

 

"We are in an environmental crisis which threatens the survival of this nation, and of the world as a suitable place of human habitation." - Barry Commoner, Washington University biologist

 

"Man must stop pollution and conserve his resources, not merely to enhance existence but to save the race from intolerable deterioration and possible extinction." - New York Times editorial, the day after the first Earth Day

 

"Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years." - Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

 

"By...[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s." - Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

 

"It is already too late to avoid mass starvation." - Denis Hayes, chief organizer for Earth Day

 

"Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions....By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine." - Peter Gunter, professor, North Texas State University

 

"Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support...the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution...by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half...." - Life Magazine, January 1970

 

"At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it's only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable." - Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

 

"Air pollution...is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone." - Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

 

"We are prospecting for the very last of our resources and using up the nonrenewable things many times faster than we are finding new ones." - Martin Litton, Sierra Club director

 

"By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate...that there won't be any more crude oil. You'll drive up to the pump and say, `Fill 'er up, buddy,' and he'll say, `I am very sorry, there isn't any.'" - Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

 

"Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct." - Sen. Gaylord Nelson

 

"The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age." - Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Oversaken - Columns

Out of order: At an office, someone got a pen stuck inside a printer while trying to remove a jammed piece of paper. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled on it.

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

Obama 2012: Michele still has more places she wants to visit

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

Important Email

As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in e-mails, BUT this one is important. It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 25 million people. We don't want to lose any names on the list so just hit forward and send it on. Please keep it going!

 

To show your support for President Obama and the job he is doing please go to the

end of the list and add your name ..

 

1. Michelle Obama.

2.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

An even better Obama bumper sticker.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

How do you like the new flip flops for this summer?

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

New Album Release Columns by Oversaken Now Available

For Immediate Release

 

New Album Release Columns by Oversaken Now Available

 

April 5, 2011

 

Oversaken is pleased to announce the release of their much anticipated album entitled “COLUMNS” (Oversaken 2011).

 

COLUMNS consists of fifteen new and original songs, written by Oversaken and produced by George Dorunda. Singer Brian Philbeck continues the task of writing most of the lyrics, working with the rest of the band to compose all their music. COLUMNS was recorded, mixed and mastered by George Dorunda working with Oversaken’s Justin Rollins to achieve the passionately aggressive excitement of the patented soft-hard sound that is Oversaken.

 

A few surprises ensue, Anthony (bass) debuts his writing talents on songs including “Cleanse”, “Forever Ending Story” and “Reminders”, while the lyrics for “Forever Ending Story” were co-written by Laura Rollins (Justin’s wife). Jason (guitar) rounded out the sound by developing the dynamic riffs and solos that are the foundation of Oversaken.

 

Oversaken current band member line up consists of:

Justin Rollins - Drums

Brian Philbeck - Vocals

Jason Rollins - Guitar

Anthony Elder - Bass, Acoustic Guitar

 

With the completion of this epic album, the past several months have proven to be quite productive for Oversaken. Already 2011 is off to a great start for the band. Oversaken is formulating its schedule and looking forward to getting on the road in support of their latest album.

 

COLUMNS will be available on-line on: iTunes, Amazon.com, CD Baby (www.cdbaby.com/cd/oversaken3) and the official Oversaken website (www.oversaken.com). The CD will also be available at their live shows.

 

To schedule interviews, for store distribution or to request a copy of the new album for radio play, please contact: George Dorunda Phone: 864-488-0140 Email: MegaStar@Dorunda.com

 

Official Oversaken Website: http://www.oversaken.com/

 

Official Oversaken Promo Shot: http://www.oversaken.com/OversakenHeadshot.jpg

 

Oversaken - Hits Promotional Music Bed:

http://www.oversaken.com/OversakenHitSamplerMusicBed10.mp3

 

-30-

 

Contacts:

 

George Dorunda

Bookings & Personal Appearances - Media - Technical - Logistics - Legal - Licensing

Phone: 864-488-0140

Email: MegaStar@Dorunda.com

 

Justin Rollins

Phone: 864-812-1012

Email: Justin@Oversaken.com

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Alabama's flag looks like it signifies that state got a wrong answer on Family Feud. http://dorunda.com/

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

NO ARK in 2011

NO ARK in 2011

"In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah and said: Once again the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every animal and seven of every clean animal along with a few good humans. He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights. Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?

Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard, and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then, the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I TOLD THEM THAT THE SEA WOULD BE COMING TO US, BUT THEY WOULD HEAR NOTHING OF IT. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued that accommodations were too restrictive, and that it is cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration is checking the status of most of the people who want to work. The Trades Unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, they seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a double rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'

"No," said the Lord, "The government beat me to it."

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM