Obama Firsts

Obama Firsts

 

First President to refuse to show a valid Birth Certificate.
First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner
First President to have a social security number from a state he's never lived in
First President to Preside over a Cut to the Credit Rating of the United States Government 
First President to Violate the War Powers Act 
First President to Orchestrate the Sale of Murder Weapons to Mexican Drug Cartels 
First President to be Held in Contempt of Court for Illegally Obstructing Oil Drilling in the Gulf of Mexico 
First President to Defy a Federal Judge's Court Order to Cease Implementing the 'Health Care Reform' Law 
First President to Require All Americans to Purchase a Product From a Third Party 
First President to Spend a Trillion Dollars on 'Shovel-Ready' Jobs-- and Later Admit There Was No Such Thing as Shovel-Ready Jobs 
First President to Abrogate Bankruptcy Law to Turn Over Control of Companies to His Union Supporters 
First President to Bypass Congress and Implement the DREAM Act Through Executive Fiat 
First President to "Order a Secret Amnesty Program that Stopped the Deportations of Illegal Immigrants Across the US , Including Those With Criminal Convictions" 
First President to Demand a Company Hand Over $20 Billion to One of His Political Appointees 
First President to Terminate America's Ability to Put a Man into Space 
First President to Encourage Racial Discrimination and Intimidation at Polling Places 
First President to Have a Law Signed By an 'Auto-pen' Without Being "Present" 
First President to Arbitrarily Declare an Existing Law Unconstitutional and Refuse to Enforce It 
First President to Threaten Insurance Companies if they Publicly Speak out on the Reasons for their Rate Increases 
First President to Tell a Major Manufacturing Company In Which State They Are Allowed to Locate a Factory 
First President to File Lawsuits Against the States He Swore an Oath to Protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN, etc) 
First President to Withdraw an Existing Coal Permit That Had Been Properly Issued Years Ago 
First President to Fire an Inspector General of Ameri-corps for Catching One of His Friends in a Corruption Case 
First President to Propose an Executive Order Demanding Companies Disclose Their Political Contributions to bid on Government Contracts 
First President to appoint 45 'czars' to replace elected officials in his office.
First President to Golf 73 separate Times in His First Two-and-a-Half Years in Office 
First President to hide his medical, educational, and travel records 
First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it 
First President to coddle America's enemies while alienating America's allies 
First President to publicly bow to America's enemies while refusing to salute the US flag
First President to go on multiple Global apology tours. 
First President to go on 17 'vacations', including 'date nights' paid for by the taxpayer.

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Herman Cain on Occupy Wall Street

"Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself. …It is not a person's fault if they succeeded, it is a person's fault if they failed.” - Herman Cain

Computer beginnings!

Computer beginnings!

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load - but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures: Hebrew To The People (HTTP). But this success did arouse envy.

A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

Lo, Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others!"

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known, he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)

And that is how it all began.

 

http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Did you know this about Herman Cain?

Did you know this about Herman Cain?

 

Herman Cain is running for president. He’s not a career

                      politician (in fact he has never held political office).

                      He’s known as a pizza guy, but there’s a lot more to him.

                      He’s also a computer guy, a banker guy, and a rocket

                      scientist guy.

Here’s his bio:

                      

•           Bachelor’s

                        degree in Mathematics.

•           Master’s

                        degree in Computer Science.

•           Mathematician

                        for the Navy, where he worked on missile ballistics

                        (making him a rocket scientist).

•           Computer

                        systems analyst for Coca-Cola.

•           VP of

                        Corporate Data Systems and Services for Pillsbury (this

                        is the top of the ladder in the computer world, being in

                        charge of information systems for a major

                        corporation).

All achieved

                      before reaching the age of 35. Since he reached the top of

                      the information systems world, he changed careers!

                       

•           Business

                        Manager. Took charge of Pillsbury’s 400 Burger King

                        restaurants in the Philadelphia area, which were the

                        company’s poorest performers in the country. Spent the

                        first nine months learning the business from the ground

                        up, cooking hamburger and yes, cleaning toilets. After

                        three years he had turned them into the company’s best

                        performers.

•           Godfather’s

                        Pizza CEO. Was asked by Pillsbury to take charge of

                        their Godfather’s Pizza chain (which was on the verge of

                        bankruptcy). He made it profitable in 14 months.

                        

•           In 1988 he

                        led a buyout of the Godfather’s Pizza chain from

                        Pillsbury. He was now the owner of a restaurant chain.

                        Again he reached the top of the ladder of another

                        industry.

•           He was also

                        chairman of the National Restaurant Association during

                        this time. This is a group that interacts with

                        government on behalf of the restaurant industry, and it

                        gave him political experience from the non-politician

                        side.

Having reached

                      the top of a second industry, he changed careers again!

                      

•           Adviser to

                        the Federal Reserve System. Herman Cain went to work for

                        the Federal Reserve Banking System advising them on how

                        monetary policy changes would affect American

                        businesses.

•           Chairman of

                        the Kansas City Federal Reserve Bank. He worked his way

                        up to the chairmanship of a regional Federal Reserve

                        bank. This is only one step below the chairmanship of

                        the entire Federal Reserve System (the top banking

                        position in the country). This position allowed him to

                        see how monetary policy is made from the inside, and

                        understand the political forces that impact the monetary

                        system.

After reaching

                      the top of the banking industry, he changed careers for a

                      fourth time!

•           Writer and

                        public speaker. He then started to write and speak on

                        leadership. His books include Speak as a Leader,

                        CEO of

                        Self, Leadership is Common

                        Sense, and They Think You’re

                        Stupid.

•           Radio Host.

                        Around 2007—after a remarkable 40 year career—he started

                        hosting a radio show on WSB in Atlanta (the largest talk

                        radio station in the country).

He did all this

                      starting from rock bottom (his father was a chauffeur and

                      his mother was a maid). When you add up his

                      accomplishments in his life—including reaching the top of

                      three unrelated industries: information systems, business

                      management, and banking—Herman Cain may have the most

                      impressive resume of anyone that has run for the

                      presidency in the last half

                      century.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM

 

Rules is Rules!

Rules is Rules! The Good news: It was a normal day in Sharon Springs, Kansas , when a Union Pacific crew boarded a loaded coal train for the long trek to Salina . The Bad news: Just a few miles into the trip a wheel bearing became overheated and melted, letting a metal support drop down and grind on the rail, creating white hot molten metal droppings spewing down to the rail. The Good news: A very alert crew noticed smoke about halfway back in the train and immediately stopped the train in compliance with the rules. The Bad news: The train stopped with the hot wheel over a wooden bridge with creosote ties and trusses. The crew tried to explain this to Union Pacific higher-ups but were instructed not to move the train! They were informed that Rules prohibited moving the train when a part was found to be defective!   REMEMBER, RULES IS RULES! (Don't ever let common sense get in the way of a good disaster ! )

 

 

 

 

American $20 Bill Very Interesting!!

American $20 Bill Very Interesting!!

History  Mystery Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.  A braham   Lincoln  was  elected to Congress in 1846. John F.  Kennedy  was  elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham  Lincoln was  elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy  was elected President in 1960. Both were  particularly concerned with civil  rights. Both wives lost their children while  living in the White  House. Both Presidents were shot on a  Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the  head Now it gets really  weird.   Lincoln 's secretary was named  Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named     Lincoln . Both were assassinated by  Southerners. Both were succeeded by  Southerners named Johnson. Andrew  Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in  1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy,  was born in 1908. John  Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born  in 1839.   Lee  Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was  born  in  1939. Both  assassins were known by their three  names. Both names are composed of fifteen  letters. Now hang on to your  seat.   Lincoln was shot at the theatre  named 'Ford'. Kennedy was shot in a car  called ' Lincoln ' made by  'Ford'.   Lincoln was shot in a theatre and  his assassin ran and hid in a  warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse  and his assassin ran and hid in a  theatre. Booth and Oswald were  assassinated before their trials.      WHO  FIGURED THIS OUT? INCREDIBLE   1)  Fold a  NEW  $20  bill in half... 2)  Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as  below 3)  Fold the other end, exactly as  before 4)  Now, simply turn it  over... What  a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a  catastrophic premonition printed on all $20  bills!!! COINCIDENCE? YOU  DECIDE As  if that wasn't enough... Here  is what you've seen... Firstly  The  Pentagon on  fire... Then  The  Twin Towers. ... And  now . look at this! TRIPLE  COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20  BILL Disaster  (Pentagon) Disaster  ( Twin Towers ) Disaster  (Osama)??? It  gets even better 9 + 11 = $20! Creepy  huh? Send this to as many people as you can,  cause: Hey,  this is one history lesson most people probably  will  not  mind  reading!

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM