864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
DO NOT STOP
DO NOT STOP
A MESSAGE FROM THE OFFICE OF ATTORNEY GENERAL STATE OF MISSISSIPPI , JACKSON , MS
SITUATION...
While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Canton PD and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check.
"There are several things to be aware of ... gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women) to stop their vehicle and get out of the car.
"There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police Department where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby.
"Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too.
DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-1-1 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON 'T EVEN SLOW DOWN.
"IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSHIELD, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%, AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE CRIMINALS.
THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES.
THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVORY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT."
Please be safe.
George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Michigan Yoopers Declare War on Obama
Michigan Yoopers Declare War on Obama
Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama?" a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up here at Olies Bar and Steak House in Bruce Crossing, Michigan. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, my cousin Olie, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine's Bar. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Sven. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Sven?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two 4-wheelers, a snowmobile, and Harry's trail grooming machine."
President Obama sighed. "I have tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke"
"Lord above", said Sven, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day, "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Olies ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Sven that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Sven, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. ""President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."
http://dorunda.com/comedy2011.htm
George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Monday, June 20, 2011
5 Year Old's First Job
5 Year Old's First Job
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the damn sheet rock."
George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
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