Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Two Elderly Gentlemen

Two Elderly Gentlemen

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

 

http://www.dorunda.com/comedy2010.htm

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Elderly Gentleman

Elderly Gentleman

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

 

http://www.dorunda.com/comedy2010.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Garage Door

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.

 

http://www.dorunda.com/comedy2010.htm

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Wisdom of Older Men

The Wisdom of Older Men

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.

'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'

'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, she appears out of nowhere.

 

http://www.dorunda.com/comedy2010.htm

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Thursday, February 4, 2010

After 40 Years of Marriage

After 40 Years of Marriage

After 40 years of marriage, John and Lois were lying in bed one evening. Suddenly, she felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled, as his fingers started at her neck, and then moved down past the small of her back, caressing her shoulders and neck. He then slowly worked his hand down over her chest, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her chest again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she said in a loving voice, "That was wonderful! Why did you stop?"

He said, "I finally found the remote."

 

http://www.dorunda.com/comedy2010.htm

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Smart Ass

Smart Ass

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be brand new store.

The store wasn't ready, with only a few empty shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and asked, "What Are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well. I see you only have two left!"

 

http://www.dorunda.com/comedy2010.htm

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Thomas Jefferson: Tyranny

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?

 

Old Men

Old Men

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Gasthaus Gutenberger restaurant because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

 

 

George Dorunda
864-488-0140
DORUNDA.COM
Want to be Healthy?